The Meaning of Marriage...10/24/2013
Did you know there's actually a book with this title, ironically my husband owns it...he ordered it with some other books about baptism and marriage awhile ago, I personally am not very religious so I decided to not peak into this book before writing this post. I believe marriage means a number of different things to each individual, it is rare (for me at least) that I've met two people who have exactly the same views on marriage.
Some view marriage as a contract, a binding agreement that holds them to another person, usually I've found that people with this thought process aren't usually supportive of marriage or say "it's not for me", some view marriage an ultimate goal to reach, we often know them as the girls who will do just about anything to get their boyfriend to marry them, or you have some who value marriage and understand it's limits.
I actually fall into the later group. As a product of divorced parents and knowing they were married once before going through their own divorce, my thoughts on marriage have always been if I'm doing it I'm doing it once, that's it! So when David and I found out we were having Hannah and the topic of marriage came up I was thrilled to know we were on the same page when it came to marriage.
Marriage means...Compromise. This is big in our house, we aren't going to agree on absolutely everything, that's just reality so we always try to find a middle ground.
Marriage means...Support. We support each other through everything. I'll be honest there were A LOT of people who didn't think that our marriage would work or last near as long as it has but through support from one another we make it through each and every day. Whether David has a rough day at work or I have one of my frequent emotional breakdowns we strive to always be there for the other one and support each other, as David says "I always have your back, even if your wrong, doesn't mean I won't let you know it later but I will always fight for you and with you".
Marriage mean...Intimacy. Let's be honest...no marriage will work without it. This has actually be a rough one in our marriage since Savannah, I can be honest and admit that but it's 100% on my end and due to my PPA (Post-Partum Anxiety) because of the medication I take it's killed my sex drive but we are getting there slowly but surely! The old saying is true "if you won't do it someone else will" and that's always in my head.
Marriage means...Commitment. Like I said before when David and I got married it was for LIFE! No get of jail free cards, no negotiations, no take backs. We both believe that the only real get out of marriage card is cheating but we both strongly believe that there are a MILLION other options out there before we go there. We have spent too much time building our life together to just throw it away.
Marriage means...Happiness. Finally, I can tell you that I married my best friend. There isn't a moment in the day that I don't think of him or want to talk to him or be around him. When he's at work I miss him. I once told a good friend who objected to my marriage that "I am 98% happy every single day, that's better than a crap ton of other people I know", how can you not be happy for me in that statement? The 2% usually involves the kids driving me nuts. Not many people can say that they are that happy and content in their lives and that's something we take pride in.
David jokes that between 60 years old and 61 years old I need to "put him down" out of his misery, he really doesn't want to get old so if I only have another 29 years with him I intend to make them the best of our lives being together, being in love and raising our girls and watching them grow...I hope to get to be one of those couples who is together for 40+ or even 50 years...I idolize those couples and they are always the cutest at Cracker Barrell on Saturday mornings!!
Share some of your tips for marriage with me. What does marriage mean to you? How do you and your significant other make it work? Any tricks of the trade for those married longer than 3 years?