If I Could Turn Back Time...


Recently I found out that From Mrs. to Mama was hosting a link up on her 52 Weeks of Blogging with a Purpose, this week’s purpose is If I Could Turn Back Time. This was an interesting one to me because I often try to not thing “well, what if?” or “should I have gone right instead of left?” I think it leaves a negative essence around yourself and your actions.

I had a family member who once told me “Trust in Life, Trust in Love, neither can lead you astray”, and I truly believe that, I don’t know how I feel about destiny or fate but I believe things happen for a reason, even if it’s to teach you lesson to never do it again. We’ve all been at forks in the road many times in our lives and maybe now and again we’ve taken the wrong way but I don’t think there’s been many if any times I’ve said “I should have gone right, not left”.

I don’t know there’s much I’d want to do over because for the most part I’m 95% happy with where my life is today, sure there are things I would tweak with my family, friends and miscellaneous but I don’t know too many people that are half as content in their life as I am. Plus, all of those moments, even the ones I might regret have brought me to where I am and made me who I am today.  

If I could turn back time…I wouldn’t have wasted time with my jerk ex-boyfriend off and on for almost 7 years, I would have told myself, “you deserve better, and better is out there” and left and moved on. But from that relationship I learned what I will and won’t stand for in my relationship with my now husband and it’s definitely made me a stronger wife to him because I now have a backbone and we make decisions as partners not sole individuals.

If I could turn back time…I would have taken that college money and instead of buying a brand new car and pimping out all my friends with new outfits or taking them to fancy dinners I would have actually invested it or bought a house earlier in life or maybe even gone to college to get my degree.

If I could turn back time…I wish my husband and I would have had more relationship time before having our kids. I love my girls with all my heart but some days I wish that instead of the first few years of our relationship and marriage being 100% about babies it could have been about us and really taking the time to invest in each other.

If I could turn back time…I would probably take back something’s I’ve said and done to those that are important or play an important role in my life. Words can’t be taken back, they hurt forever and sometimes we don’t think before we speak (I’m exceptionally good at this), you never realize how fast it flies out of your mouth and how quickly as soon as it came out you wish it never was even a thought in your head for your mouth to speak!

If I could turn back time…I’d treasure those moments with those people I now know that I’ve lost in my life. I’d be there 30 minutes earlier to catch Courtland before he committed suicide, I’d spend more time with my grandparents on both sides, I’d hug friends a little tighter before they got on a motorcycle and crashed and even more than that I’d wish I had the chance with all of them to say goodbye, to have closure, to know they are okay in where they are going and that they really are looking over me.

No one knows how life is going to turn out, and no matter how much money, fame or material things you have we all make mistakes and take that right instead of left in life, the true test is how you move forward from that decision and try to make it the most positive that it can be for your future. These are definitely lessons I will teach my girls and I know that one day I will have to let them learn the hard way on some things like I did but I know that they will eventually look back and say I’m happy mom let me learn instead of keeping me in a bubble.

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